huh.

i had my ics session and LUCKILY the ics worker looked at my phone and said, "do you have a nailclipper or something?" and i said, "yeah." then got him my toe nailclipper. he picked the piece of the charger which was jammed in the plug out and we tested to see if it charged after and it did. so i don't have to wait for fredrick to come but i canceled my wax for nothing (even though she claims i never had one scheduled). i just gotta reschedule one now. i gotta make sure it's on a day where i'll absolutely have a ride there because i don't feel like canceling/missing an appointment and getting charged for it (it has actually happened to me a few times before).
that also means i don't have to worry about not getting a lyft ride for friday's interview now. so i have a better chance at getting employed now. there's gotta be an employer out there who will recognize my drive and persistence and give me a shot. i also scheduled a zoom interview with some car dealer for a receptionist job there a few hours ago. gotta keep my options open, seeing as it seems that employers may be turned off when i walk into the interview with a cane. i don't honestly feel that ALL of the employers i interview with find another person more qualified for the position. not after around at least TWO interviews a week for the past year or so. i always think the interviews go well and i'm disappointed when they don't follow up. so that's around 48-50 interviews (maybe a little more or less) without interest in actually hiring me. i'm not sure if my problem is that i don't have anything that really goes out of the way to impress employers (my skills obviously aren't good enough..). the only thing i can really think of is that employers must view me as a liability because of the cane. as illegal as it is- i don't really have strong proof that IS what it is. it annoys me that tim and the rest of his family must not think i have problems as a result of him drinking and driving because they're so comfortable with not talking to me and making snooty comments about settlement bullshit. like i'm not doing as bad as they're comfortable communicating with or caring about- so they feel more comfortable with blocking me out. it's kinda like a little kid vandalizing a house and getting in trouble by the law for it but walking away without any consequences from anybody else. ah well. i'm not the one who condoned a person drinking and driving and killing one person and NEARLY killing the other passenger. NOT ON MY CONSCIENCE AND GOD WON'T BE HAVING THAT CONVERSATION WITH ME AT JUDGMENT DAY! the normal person might be like "well it was an ACCIDENT and you said you forgave him." well YES.. but i don't appreciate him clearly being influenced by his sad ass excuse of "support" NOT to talk to me and or even see how the person he NEARLY killed is doing. i was thinking of ALL the things that i didn't have an opportunity to do because i was in a wheelchair, worrying about rehabilitation. NEARLY ALL of my teenage years were in the crapper because someone decided he was the mack daddy, so it was alright to drink and drive. I DIDN'T GET TO ATTEND PROM. I DIDN'T GET TO ATTEND A LOT OF ACTIVITIES YOUNGER PEOPLE NORMALLY ATTEND IN SCHOOL BECAUSE I WAS IN A DAMN WHEELCHAIR. I DIDN'T GET TO PERSONALLY WALK UP TO THE PODIUM TO ACCEPT MY DIPLOMA. i didn't get to attend most of school (i only graduated with honors because i was so ahead of credits BEFORE my car accident).. meaning i couldn't participate in sports or other physical events. DOESN'T MATTER THOUGH CATHY! AS LONG AS I GOT THAT DAMN SETTLEMENT! i missed out on A LOT of my teenage life. OH BUT IT'S OKAY! I HAD A FEEDING TUBE AND BACLOFEN PUMP MY TEENAGE YEARS TO MAKE UP FOR IT! you people are so fucking shallow and you talk about how I should be more grateful.. GRATEFUL FOR GOING THROUGH THE WINDSHEILD AND SPENDING SIX MONTHS IN A COMA (crocs in new york even advised my family to disconnect the life support because if i ever came out of the coma- i'd be a vegetable my whole life). I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL I GOT TO GO THROUGH THAT SHIT INSTEAD OF LIVING ACTUAL CAREFREE TEENAGE YEARS! I'M SO UNGRATEFUL! considering i didn't have a drop of alcohol in my immune system- which is why i got fucked with a traumatic brain injury and your smart ass son WAS drinking but the alcohol paralyzed his immune system- SO NOTHING HAPPENED TO HIM! GOOD NEWS! HE WAS ABLE TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED! I MUST BE THE SPAWN OF SATAN.. THAT'S WHY I GOT SCREWED OVER WITH A TBI AND I CAN WALK BUT I TEND TO FALL WHEN I DON'T HAVE A CANE OR SOMETHING TO ASSIST ME!.. seriously- devil woman.. your time IS coming. get cocky all you want with having a son who can kill another person and nearly kill another person while still managing to get happily married to a woman (who i honestly feel sorry for) and making little future drunk drivers. maybe i'd be more bothered by tim not talking to me if he actually had any integrity. good riddance, i suppose.